TOP 10 REASONS
Talk show host David Letterman joined the cluster of stars putting down stakes in Montana some time ago.
Letterman, it is well known, keeps to himself. His precise reasons for deciding to live part time in the Treasure State remain unknown, though speculation abounds. Some guess that he’s planning to retire here, especially in light of recent developments—sex with employees, blackmail, public apologies, rude remarks about Sarah Palin and her daughter.
Others say that his jokes about Sarah Palin conceal a deep, secretly held attraction to the woman, and that moving permanently to Montana will put him that much closer to her and the lifestyle she leads. Beyond that, the top 10 possible reasons for Letterman’s move to Montana is featured below.
10: Plenty of Parking
9: Retirement plans include a stint as a mountain man
8: Obsessed with the Frank Zappa song, Moving to Montana, the way Howard Hughes was obsessed with Ice Station Zebra
7: Sex with employees just doesn’t cut it anymore, will seek the affection of grizzly bears, big horn sheep, and cutthroat trout.
6: Thinks maybe, just maybe, having a ranch here will make him as hip as all those other celebrities in Montana, but it ain’t gonna happen.
5: Has money to burn.
4: Has a bad rash from sitting behind that desk year after year and heard something in the water here will clear it up.
3: Mrs. Letterman insisted, “I need my space, so get the hell out.”
2: Having finally crossed the line in making too many tasteless and offensive remarks, wants to live near his mentor, Ted Turner
1: Bad hair is okay here